Aliteración

The pain of my pain is that it (mostly) is an imaginary pain.

Incongruencias...

Pavor a la intimidad y esto: el blog.

Después de todos estos años, sigo sin perdonarme ese pequeño exabrupto que TE/me demostró que soy vulnerable; que sigo siendo como cuando niño ... I wear my heart on my sleeve.

"Cita" dijo él...

(I've become so jaded that I believe "dating game" is self explainatory in its multiple meanings)

(it's) not over

ayer

Te ví, en la mañana;
ironía del universo. (Careful what you wish for).

anoche

Me tallo las manos.
Trato de ser gracioso.
Desvío la mirada.
Silencio incómodo.
(Atiendes tus cosas).
Salgo.
Platico con alguien más.
Caminamos a su auto.
Me despido.
(No me despedí de ti).
Llego a casa.
Prendo la compu.
Veo aparecer ese punto verde
                         [junto a tu nombre.
Evito escribirte un mensaje.
Apago la compu.
Me voy a la cama.
Batallo con el insomnio.
Dormido finalmente
                         [me quedo.

Do I have a talent for making people believe I am more talented/intelligent/whatever than I really am or am I just an under achiever?

=S

misanthropy

I stop being (considered) your friend
when I'm no longer useful to you.
(My trades? "smart"... that's the one thing about me that I think is useful to the rest of mankind -emphasis on the "").

Drawn to the pretty

It's not just the way you look,
It's your smile,
The way you carry yourself,
What you know,
What you're interested to know,
That you're interested to know,
The kind and wise words you offer to your friends
 [oh how I wish I could count myself amongst them].

But my intentions were not exactly pure,
And from my stubborn hope now comes the guilt.
Unknowingly I placed the bets against myself.

I didn't hurt you.
I hurt no one.
At least, of that I can be proud.
 [That's the thing with having a talent for going unnoticed,
   You have to acknowledge when it serves you right].

Clear the dust...

and stare at the forgotten revelations.
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I like you... a lot.
I think I do.

You don't [like me]
You can't... won't.

I'll mimic you
'Cause my liking of anybody
Always comes with a little admiration.

And if when you go
I'll go... back to my characteristic poker face.
That's my style (IN YOUR FACE, THERAPIST!)

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Mates say I should lower my standards and just get laid. Overweight hypocrites.

I thought I was..

How does it work?
How do we(I) make it work?

Maybe if I put on a white robe,
Tear it apart,
Stare through the magnifying glass.

Then,

I'll pick it apart,

Belittle its charm,

watch from afar.

In the end
I'm back to square one,

armed with a heart covered in tar.

Edad emocional: 16

Diagnóstico real...

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Hubo una vez algo (o más bien alguien) que creo ya superé... pero mi actitud sigue siendo la misma: play safe... y quédate solo (bueno, con tus fantasías).

EPIC FAIL

Eso...

Can't teach new trick to an old dog...

I'm giving up...

(hey, that's my talent).

kickin' the habit

Let it snow go, Let it snow go, Let it snow go...

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So yeah, I feel 16 again...
So yeah, I have another impossible crush (yet) again...

So yeah, I'm too old for this shit...

Back to square one

Dice Yoda que uno debe "desaprender" lo que ha aprendido.

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El "cambio de paradigma" se ha convertido en todo un cliché y estos -como las leyendas- irremediablemente tienen su origen en hechos más o menos verídicos o verificables. Ergo, mi escudo de escepticismo no es tan efectivo...

Estoy reaprendiendo a tocar el piano. ¿Por qué? Me estanqué en la parte técnica. Dado que mi relación cuerpo-mente (o coordinación psicomotriz, como prefieran) nunca ha sido de lo mejor, necesitaba que alguien me explicase con "peras y manzanas" cómo lograr vencer ciertos obstáculos técnicos que me impedían 1) ampliar mi repertorio; y 2) tocar más rápido, fuerte y con precisión*. Así que en esas ando: tomo clases con mi maestro oficial -que según un compañero son como masterclasses- y empecé a tomar clases con otra maestra para remediar mis "huecos" técnicos. So far so good...

Además de las mejoras en mi forma de tocar, creo que le he reencontrado el gusto -que en los últimos meses se había vuelto uno cosa más que "tenía que hacer". Mi narciso interior también disfruta que le digan que no es malo, que asimila y entiende rápido y que tiene sensibilidad para la música. Ganar-ganar. :P

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*Sí, eso de ser instrumentista se parece un poco a lo de ser atleta de alto rendimiento.

I'm back

Dado que finalmente he decidido ir a terapia, mi regreso a la actividad blogueril surge de un aspecto práctico más que de una necesidad de expresarme.

BTW, soy bueno en eso de los autodiagnósticos mentales.

quemar las naves

Tiempo es de.

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Aún no aprendo, pero puede que no haya nada que aprender de ello.

and...

concerning that certain drummer, I'm happy to say I'm over him...

Moving onto the next unrequited crush (yay!)

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hm... I'm too old for crushes. Then again, I'm too old for being still in college AND studying a basic level of music... oh well, I'm immature.

(downward spiral much?)

kiss 'em goodbye

I won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't careI won't care...

right now? I couldn't tell (I mean, it's fucking obvious. Don't make me say it out loud... please)

irrelevant bits about my life

I just ate a full package of chocolate chip cookies.

Tomorrow I'll be playing a Chopin nocturne at the students concert in the conservatory.

My report card for this semester at engineering should read: MAJOR FAIL. That would spare them the trouble of giving me a weighted grade.

edit: I still can't get drummer out of my head. It's a "good thing" he's leaving the band by mid-year. :(

static motion

D.C. e senza fine...
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I wish I could say it is weird but the feeling is a little too familiar.